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Inept Attorney Christian Poland Gets Tips To Sooth His Swollen Ass

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Inept Attorney Christian Poland Gets Spanked Hard Again. Pro-Dom Dominatrix Mistress Isis Offers Him Some Tips On How He Can Sooth His Swollen Ass

Inept Attorney Christian Poland
“Experienced” Federal Litigator Christian Poland keeps getting spanked by federal judges and by pro-se litigant.

US District Judge Robin Rosenberg has judicially spanked inept attorney Christian Poland for the fifth time. Two other federal judges in the same case have also spanked Poland. So far, all three judges have spanked for a total of 11 times since February 1st in Romspen vs. Dibert. 

Poland is representing Romspen in an apparent illegal SLAPP lawsuit against the MFI-Miami founder and blogger. 

The most humiliating thing about these judicial spankings is that Dibert is pro-se. On the other hand, Poland is a partner in international law firm Bryan Cave Leighton Paisner in Chicago. The court strikes down Poland’s motions before Dibert even has time to file a response. That alone makes these spankings even more painful and humiliating. 

Christian Poland has been trying to mask his incompetency for nearly a year. He has been filing motions in his Miami colleague Ezequiel Romero‘s name for nearly a year. Apparently, he’s trying to make Romero his patsy. 

Inept Attorney Christian Poland’s Ass Hurts Too Bad To Sit Down 

inept attorney christian poland
New York based Pro-Dom Dominatrix Mistress Isis gives tips on how Christian Poland can sooth his bruised and sore ass.

Yes, we get giddy like a school girl watching an arrogant fuck like Christian Poland keep getting spanked by judges. However, we do feel bad for the him regarding the excruciating pain he is suffering from. A bruised posterior is very painful. It’s not like hemorrhoids where can feel some relief by sitting on an inflatable donut. 

So, we reached out to our long time friend Mistress Isis for tips on how Christian Poland can heal his severely paddled bruised ass. 

Mistress Isis is a New York-based Pro-Dom Dominatrix who’s clientele are some of Wall Street’s most powerful bankers. So she knows a thing or two about a man having a bruised ass. She recommends the following:

1. Lather up with a Medical-Ass Lotion: 

Sometimes a fragranced lotion is too much and you just need to strip it down to basics and use a fragrance free, medical-ass lotion like Eucerin, Aveeno, etc. Mistress Isis recommends getting anything with the word “intensive” or “eczema” on it and coat the skin. She also recommends staying out of the sun. Sunlight will makes your butt more sensitive.

2: Use An Ice Pack: 

inept attorney christian polandMistress Isis also recommends that if Christian Poland has any lingering evidence of light redness to all-out bruises to use an ice pack.

Ice is your first defense against taking down any kind of swelling. She also recommends soft gel ice packs that you can find on Amazon and at some drugstores.

Mistress Isis also recommends that a lawyer like Christian Poland (who is into getting spanked) should keep two ice packs in my freezer. They’re comfortable to cuddle with and won’t turn to disgusting mush like frozen corn will.

3. Arnica & Other Gels: 

Once you’ve iced yourself, you’ll want to treat your marks topically. Mistress Isis recommends using arnica gel for bruising. Arnica can be found at most natural foods stores. She also recommends aloe vera for anything more on the surface of the skin.

However, the required aftercare all depends on the type of impact tool that was used. Was Christian Poland hit with something more “thuddy” like a paddle or silicone crop? In that case treat the bruises with arnica. Was it something stingy like a crop, slapper or hand? Then your irritated, red skin might appreciate some aloe vera.

4. Colloidal Oatmeal Bath & Epsom Salts: 

inept attorney Christian Poland Mistress Isis also recommends that Christian Poland make himself the bath-equivalent of a medical-ass lotion.

Colloidal Oatmeal is formulated to treat eczema and dry skin. However, it works wonders on impact marks and even on a chafed or sore orifice (we’ve all been there).

Christian Poland can find Colloidal Oatmeal baths in the baby care section of larger stores. She also recommend plain epsom salts. If you have sensitive skin, sometimes fragranced bath salts can be too much.

However, if Christian Poland really wants to treat himself, Whoopi & Maya make an unscented, cannabis infused bath soak. It is pure heaven and will bring him to new heights. 

5. Water:
inept attorney christian poland She recommends for Christian Poland to hydrate like a maniac. Whether he’s sweating, drooling from the crying from the spanking, the impact can dehydrate you.
Lemon slices, herbs, crushed cranberries, chia seeds, and any other fruit you can think of are all lovely in ice water and make Christian Poland feel like he just had a spa day. Tea or sparkling water is also great but straight water is preferred. A bonus to being well hydrated is that it will be easier to pee while he’s recovering.

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